


Lois Lane & The Murder Moms (aka The Deadly Milfs)

by deadrobins97



Category: Batman (Comics), Superman (Comics)
Genre: Also Mommy Issues, F/M, Gen, MILFs, had a revelation last night and all i could come up is this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-18 20:41:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29124348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadrobins97/pseuds/deadrobins97
Summary: Lois Lane is working on a lead that attracted more than she expected, now all of them for their own reasons become a team. This is messier than she expected but for fucks sake she's gotta make it work
Kudos: 6





	Lois Lane & The Murder Moms (aka The Deadly Milfs)

Now you would think this was the kinda situation she would find herself a lot more often than she’d like to admit. And in part you’d be right, really, after all Lois Lane is not known for backing out of situation when it gets bad, even deadly. Many people thought that it had to do with Superman’s favorite reporter, his husband’s friends thought it had to do with being Superman’s wife, others on the fact that she’s a military brat, with her father being an important man and being raised more comfortable around guns and random man yelling violent orders than any child had any right to be.

Lois Lane is a badass, not because of her husband and certainly not because of her father, but because she’s a reporter. And any good reporter worth their weight in gold knows that they gotta show face when the situations goes from bad to worse.

Which would be why she’s in the situation she’s in. Tied in a chair in the middle east dessert in a room on some abandoned building with at least two men with big guns pointing at her for a whole day now and some more outside the room.

She had been talking to some locals about the sudden increase in violent reports between two cities when some terrorist group came in, terrorized everyone and took her.

Not that she didn’t put up a fight, mind you, she knocked out at least four men before they dragged her out with bigger guns. She was proud to see the faces of the man she’s hit without their front teeth when she was dragged in here.

There’s blood pouring down her nose and bruises on her face, the leader of the group is yelling outside the door, she can’t understand what he’s saying but she can hear he’s mad, getting desperate at the fact that no matter all the hits and threats, she has not said a single word about why she’s here.

She’s looking for man, a weapon seller, some sources close to her have confirmed that the man has a big network of illegal trades between American weapons and terrorist groups from the middle east. This could get her the next Pulitzer, but most importantly this could get a bad man behind bars and hopefully save a lot of people.

She doesn’t know if she’s beginning to sound like her husband or if he got it from her.

After a couple of seconds of silence, the leader walks in. He’s big and wearing a white suit, short hair slicked back with gel and tanned skin. He’s wearing a golden watch on his left hand and is wearing dark aviator glasses.

Overall he looks like a douchebag.

“Miss Lane” he walks in casually, takes of his blazer and rolls up his sleeves, the golden watch shinning bright against the sun coming from the small window above both of them “Sorry about the place, we had to leave in a hurry, you understand”

“British accent, so you are not from around” she says as she spits out blood from the broken nose that has been falling and drying on her lips “Color me surprised”

“Parents sent me to boarding school since young and then to Yale” he comes and stops right in front of her, looking down on her to make himself feel bigger Lois is sure “The best education money could give after all”

“So, you’re a rich brat?” she looks up, her hands hurt from the tight rope and her head swims a little from the bruises on her neck and face. She continues, she has a job to do after all.

“Is this an interview, miss Lane?” he sounds amused, like a fucking dick.

“Depends” the heat is getting to her, along with the lack of water and everything else.

“On what”

“On wherever you’re worth my time or not” she sends a bloody smile his way, it’s crusted with blood and it feels like hell on her skin, still she feels her proudest in this moment.

One thing she’s learned on her job is that men, especially rich men are easy to manipulate. They usually have daddy or mommy issues which resulted in overcompensating with money, clothes, cars and such. But their biggest weakness is their pride, it’s the most important thing they have.

She’s proved this in all of her interviews with the most annoying bald man himself, Lex Luthor; sure he’s on a much bigger scale than British asshole here, but she remembers her early interviews right out of college. Getting him riled up because he just ‘was lower than her usual standard’ and really ‘didn’t have time for an unimportant man like him’, oh also, anything about his dad was the key to get him to end an interview fast and angry enough to get the most number of views on a video for the daily planet.

She’d feel bad but she just loved to piss him off, it’s hilarious.

So, the man reacts exactly as she expected him to, his face gets red and sends a slap her way. It stings but really, she’s had worse.

She spits blood out.

“Am I worth your time now, Miss Lane?”

“Sorry, jury still out on that” she looks up with blood and spit drooling down her neck; Clark did always say red was her color.

The man clenches his fists then quickly pulls out a small gun on her.

“How about now Miss Lane?”

This situation is really more common than she’d like to admit, hell, more common than she’s let her superpowered husband know, but the shiver down her spine and her images of both Clark and Jon as the last thing she sees never leave. But she lifts up her face and looks straight at the man with the gun on her face.

“Well, I’d say-”

Suddenly a yell runs out, the man turns to look at the door and then the sound of rapid fire comes through the small room. The man in the white suit yells something at the other two with guns and they head out.

“Now where-” the man in white suit continues as he lifts his gun but suddenly, he stops as blood starts pouring down his mouth, then they both look down at his stomach and there’s a very recognizable blade through it. The gun falls into the small puddle of blood getting bigger and the noise of it falling into it is deafening.

Then the blade is pulled out and the dead man in a white suit falls right in front of her, she looks up and relaxes.

It’s probably not a good thing, because the woman in front of her is surely deadlier than all the man in the compound with all their big guns combined.

Talia Al Ghul, daughter of the very well known ‘Demon Head’ Ra’s Al Ghul, leader of an elite group League of Assassins. Surprisingly, they’ve met before, people even say they look alike, but the deadly woman’s rich tanned skin and small green eyes in comparisons to her pale complexion and her big, blue almost purple eyes say otherwise.

Being the co leader of an assassin group and an almost royalty to the underground network is quite heavy work and so, Talia travels a lot between places where deadly trades are being exchanged. These are also the kinda places Lois tends to force Terry to send her for a good article.

“Miss Lane, I didn’t expect to see you here” she says as she steps her sharp black high heels on the man’s eye, which makes a wet sound that Lois will surely remember uncomfortably tonight.

“Talia, I don’t know if I should be thanking you or running the opposite direction right now”

“Whatever choice you take Miss Lane, I’m sure it’ll be a smart one” she says as she rips out a small piece off the man’s white shirt to clean the blood off her blade.

Lois has been using her wedding ring to cut through the rope tying her to the chair and after the surprise with the man in the white suit she finishes and the rope falls from her arms.

And Clark said taking her wedding ring to these places was ‘not a good idea’.

She tries to get up but suddenly she’s dizzy and her face almost hits the concrete floor, where it not for the beautiful woman in a very tight black suit and green eyes catching her before getting her nose even more broken.

“Sorry, adrenaline is wearing off” Lois says as she has her hand on Talia’s hip, just trying to hang onto something to steady her “Starting to feel just about every bruise and cut everywhere”

“And may I ask just how long exactly have you been trapped in this place, Lois?” she doesn’t mind Lois hanging unto her as they both walk out.

“About a day. Maybe a little bit more”

“Well that just sounds dreadful”

“Oh, you have no idea, the smell of piss is finally starting to burn through my nose”

Talia just sends a quiet ‘mmh’ as she opens the door and steps outside on the corridor. The place is filled with blood and dead men everywhere. Lois should feel more uncomfortable than she actually does but right now her entire body hurts and all she wants is to have a shower and sleep for maybe a week. And well all these people also tortured her and killed a lot of civilians so she doesn’t exactly feel too bad for their end.

“So, Lois” Talia asks as she open the big doors to the abandoned compound they were in and into the hot twilight sun in the middle of the desert, there’s a big black jeep just right next to the place “Where should I drive you?”

“Drive me?” Lois asks as she looks at Talia who just pulls out her car keys out of god knows where and clicks on them and the door opens.

“Well yeah, leaving Superman’s wife in the middle of the dessert to surely die if not by an infection on those wounds then surely of dehydration is probably not a good idea” Talia answers as she opens the driver’s door and opens the co-pilot’s door from the inside.

“And here I thought it was because you liked me” Lois replies as she climbs in and closes her eyes and lets the AC dry her face of the sweat and blood from the last twenty-four hours.

“Well, you are not as incompetent as some other reporters my father and I have dealt with, so I suppose that too” coming from her that is practically a Facebook friendship request “So where are we going Lois?”

Lois tells her about a small local hotel she was staying in that’s about maybe an hour from the small town she was taken from. Talia doesn’t say anything about how cheap the place is and how it’s clearly not to her standards but she starts the car and they’re leaving.

After a couple of seconds of silence, the sun starts to finally go down and the starts are a lot clearer in the skies, this is the kinda sight you cannot get in Metropolis.

“Talia, not that I’m not thankful for the save but I have to ask” she asks as she keeps looking up at the stars in front of them both “Why are you here?”

“Always the reporter Lois”

“And don’t you forget it, Miss Al Ghul” Lois turns and stares at Talia for a couple of seconds, she’s really a beautiful woman that would not hesitate to kill a man to get what she wants, but she has to know what she’s getting into “But I know for a fact that you know my husband is in deep space in some league mission and that I know you wouldn’t just come to be my knight in shining armor unless it was beneficial for you”

“I would say I’m surprised Lois, but just as I said, you are exceptional among your peers”

“You still haven’t answered my question, Talia”

Talia is quiet for a couple of seconds, with her face straight ahead and Lois thinks she won’t answer her but then she sighs and answers.

“I need your help” she says in a voice that leaves no argument and no question about what she meant, but even then, Lois is still surprised.

“Excuse me?”

“Did they leave you deaf, Lois? Because I will not be repeating myself” if Lois wanted to be an asshole, she could almost say Talia looks nervous, but she wants to keep her hands and toes intact.

“Sorry, you just surprised me that’s all” she keeps staring at Talia as if she’s gonna jump and tell her she’s joking, but she also knows the assassin rarely even smiles least of all joke like a wine mom “but what could I possibly help you with”

“To start with, it seems we’re both looking for the same man” Talia answers and that stops all the humor in the conversation “My men haven’t been able to find him or any information about him, but you Lois, you have the only lead available” Lois suddenly forgets about all the bruises and cuts and suddenly feels more awake than before “And if I know anything about Daily Planet’s star reporter is that she’s like a dog with a bone when she finds a lead”

“Well as much as I like the creative way of calling me a bitch” she’s really gonna tell Clark all about this once he comes back, he might get pissed but she knows they’ll have a good laugh after this is all done “I still have to know why are you interested in this? It’s usually you rooting for the other guy, you know”

“First of all, _Lois_ ” oh she’s pissed off now, her hands tighten around the driving wheel and her eyes are cold as steel “Do not presume to _know_ me as we are not friends and do not presume to _know_ my intentions for you do _not_ know me that well, am I clear?”

“Crystal” Lois not gonna piss of the deadly assassin with access to an immortal water pit and a literal league of assassins at her feet.

“Good” Talia answers and Lois can finally see the lights of the city already and by now the sky is deep blue making the moon and stars even clearer “Now, all you need to know is that the man you’re looking for is hiding behind an organization, they have hitmen all over the globe so it’s not surprising you were taken like this, you need someone to protect you”

“I know how to defend myself” Lois answers because sure, she’s not a super trained assassin, but damn it if she doesn’t know how to save herself “I don’t need a bodyguard”

“Is that what you say to your husband?”

“My husband is a literal alien who can lift buildings with one finger but cannot set his phone alarm, it’s different, and he knows how I work, he might not like it, but he knows better than to play my savior when I don’t need him to”

“I’m sure that wasn’t the situation back at that abandoned compound we just left”

“I was literally making myself the victim to get as much information of the man in the white suit before cutting completely through my ropes and knocking him out before escaping through the back door” she did know that the terrorist group taking her was a good possibility the moment she landed here and researching abandoned compounds close by wasn’t really that hard, especially when they’re all constructed the same way “I might not be a super assassin like you, but I’m never in a place where I don’t want to be”

“So, it _was_ an interrogation?” Talia almost sounds surprised but her face betrays nothing.

“You should know better than anyone else that men talk too much when they think they have the upper hand, even when in reality they don’t” they’re finally in the city roads and she can see the tall building all around them, the city lights giving her a headache “And if you hadn’t interrupted, I might’ve gotten away with it”

Talia doesn’t answer that, but they finally arrive to the small cheap hotel and she parks without a sound.

“Lois, I know I haven’t exactly been on the side of angels these past few years, but let me tell you I’ve never been intentionally cruel to someone who didn’t deserve it or someone who I thought was better being frightened of the consequences of their actions than walking free” Talia stops the car but neither of them move to get out “But this… this is personal now”

“And what does your father think about all of this” being finally away from danger gets her to realize that the beautiful woman came alone, not one single ninja behind her or anything like that.

“It’s not of import” she answers, not looking at Lois.

“So, he doesn’t know?” Lois asks and silence passes for a couple of seconds before answering.

“No, he does not” she looks straight at Lois as if wanting to say more, but having no words to explain.

Lois sigh deeply and finally gets out of the car, Talia follows as they stop in front of the jeep before heading in.

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I feel like I could use a drink” Lois says and looks at Talia, the assassin nods and they walk in.

This Pulitzer better be fucking worth it.

Also saving people, if anyone asks her, that’s what she thought first.

**Author's Note:**

> my favorite milfs that dc underuses, ive had this idea since forever but could never come up with a solid start and last night i dreamt this so i decided to write it down. Please lemme know if they're ooc


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